Southern Homemaking

“This weekend I learned that beautiful, feminine nightgowns are extinct, and the idea of you raising your children in your own home can bring absolute befuddlement to the checkout lady at Target. Let me explain….”

The Extinction Of The Feminine Nightgown
By Bethany Vaughn

This weekend I learned that beautiful, feminine nightgowns are extinct, and the idea of you raising your children in your own home can bring absolute befuddlement to the checkout lady at Target. Let me explain.

Occasionally, my daughter and I will go shopping and have special “Girl Time,” as we like to call it. We both cherish these private mother and daughter moments of growing and developing a healthy, intimate relationship with one another. I use this time to impart to my daughter how priceless she is and that God created her with special, unique purpose. On this occasion we planned a trip into town in search of a beautiful, feminine nightgown. Mariah has been asking me for a pretty nightgown for weeks. She is tired of wearing old feet pajamas. As parents, we try to honor the requests or desires made by our children that are truly sincere and respective of whom God made them to be. In this case, a little girl needed a beautiful nightgown, and I wanted to honor her desire to become more ladylike and encourage her to exude femininity, even in nighttime dress. Though she is only four years old, it is important for us to cultivate in her these desires to be feminine.

So with dreams of finding the perfect exquisite nightgown, we set off on our shopping trip. However, this simple trip to the store to purchase a beautiful nightgown quickly turned into a great clash of the cultures in every way! The first store we went to did not even carry nightgowns. They had cotton pajama pants with matching shirts that were gender neutral. The second store had the same gender neutral pajama pant sets as well as night shirts displaying the “Bratz” dolls complete in hip huggers, halter top, chains, black motorcycle boots, and various shades of hair coloring. The next store did not have any nightgowns, either. The next store had one unattractive nightshirt. It was three sizes too big for her.

I felt thoroughly frustrated! My daughter was very disappointed. How hard can it be to find a little girl a nightgown? I learned it is extremely hard!

To soothe her disappointment, I suggested we go get an Icee Slush to drink. I asked my daughter, “Mariah, would you like a red slushy?” She replied with excitement, “Yes, Ma’am!!!”

The young woman at the counter said in utter amazement, “OH MY GOSH! Did she just say ‘YES, Ma’am?’ Does she always say ‘YES, Ma’am?’” I said, “YES, she does.” The girl was flabbergasted. “Why, that is the most amazing thing I have heard. I can’t believe she says ‘YES, Ma’am!!’” She kept on speaking in amazement while we were getting our drinks, and then she uttered the most incredible remark I think I have ever heard: “She is so smart and well behaved. She must go to daycare!”

I stood there in a stupor. Did she really say that? Should I laugh at something so ridiculous? I think my jaw dropped to the floor, and I just took a moment to gather my thoughts. The clerk looked too young to have any children. The shock and amazement coming from her was probably because she never even thought about mothers training their children and assumed that job was to be left to the more “qualified” educators. She was young. After pulling myself together, I gently and cordially explained to her that I actually stay at home and train my own children, homeschooling them and teaching them how to behave. They have never been in daycare.

She looked at me, confused. I looked at her with a strange gaze. It was as if two people, from two different planets, speaking two different languages, had collided. She could not comprehend the fact that a mother could actually stay at home and train her children. I was trying to figure out how in the world she could come to the conclusion that daycare had to be what produced respectability in my child. She didn’t utter a word, and we left her standing behind the counter with confusion written all over her face.

As we were about to leave Mariah asked, “Mommy, what’s daycare?” I explained as best as I could, and I also informed her of the responsibility and duty of motherhood given to us by God. It was culture shock to her to find out that many children spend their childhoods in the care of strangers instead of their parents. [LAF Ed. note: For a sobering read on this sad trend, check out a copy of Brian Robertson's new book, Daycare Deception.]

I came home exhausted as if I had been in a struggle. First was the disgust over the clothing in the stores for little girls. It was terribly disturbing. Even once reputable stores now sell provocative clothing for four-year-old girls! The back-to-school clothing for young girls and women was equally horrifying! Second was the absolute shock and amazement displayed by the public that there are still mothers who actually stay at home with their children and– even more stupefying–children can be taught to be respectful and obedient.

Yes, beautiful nightgowns are extinct, and the idea of raising respectful children in your own home can bring absolute shock to our pagan culture. To think staying at home and training your children is viewed as something strange! To think that it takes an act of God to locate a beautiful nightgown in today’s clothing stores! To think that God has chosen us to be the ones who confront this culture with the truth and light of God’s Word…. This is truly humbling. May we never give up or give in to this culture that views motherhood as undesirable and femininity as archaic. We must be that light and be prepared to confront this culture with truth.

In the meantime, our search for a beautiful, feminine nightgown goes on.

Mrs. P.R. Vaughn (Bethany) deeply enjoys her vocation as a homeschooling mother to her 5 children, ages 7 and under, in her Tennessee home. In her spare time she writes articles on Biblical womanhood and teaches childbirth classes.

© Copyright 2002-2009 by LAF/BeautifulWomanhood.org. Reprinted with permission. Original article: The Extinction Of The Feminine Nightgown