“…How do I dress modestly and femininely while staying with modern stores and looks?”

How to Dress Modestly in a Modern World
By Carolyn Moir

My mother doesn’t like me to “play dress up” and wear old-fashioned clothes. I love the old-fashioned styles, so sometimes we compromise. But how do I dress modestly and femininely while staying with modern stores and looks? It takes a little time, but isn’t hard. My personal requirement in my skirts and dresses is that they be ankle-length with no slits. That is the requirement of my church, and I like to carry it into my everyday life as well.

Practicality

Skirts are practical. Think about what people love about jeans: They are versatile and can be worn with almost any color or type of shirt. They are comfortable. They are easy to grab and put on. Well, one long, black skirt is exactly the same. I have two black skirts, and they are the staple of my wardrobe.

And for dressing modestly in the winter, I personally don’t find that jeans keep my legs very warm anyway. I usually wear leggings and a slip underneath my skirt when it is cold (and I live in Rochester where it gets very, very cold). My leggings are the kind of thing that girls may have worn in the 1980s, and I doubt anyone would think of wearing them now. However, they work beautifully in very cold regions. You can usually buy them from exercise departments of stores. If it’s really cold, I have a pair of sweat pants on hand to wear under my skirts and dresses. A nylon slip will keep your skirt from sticking with static cling to your leggings. You can also make or buy skirts in heavy materials or wear thick tights.

Of course, dressing modestly in the winter is never the problem for me. It’s when summer comes around that it’s tempting to put on a pair of shorts. But I think that for many of us the idea that pants are more convenient is just in our minds. A skirt of light material really isn’t keeping us hot. Skirts of light material will need a slip, but a light-weight slip should be fine. Two layers of light material, that’s not so bad. And think how lovely it looks! In the summer you can wear flowery skirts and sundresses and wide-brimmed straw hats! In fact, skirts do keep the cloth off our legs, which allows for air to circulate and cool us off. The difference between a light skirt and shorts is minimal in terms of heat, so I don’t think it’s worth it to sacrifice my dignity for a degree or so of coolness.

I also don’t mind wearing boots or sneakers with my skirts. For ladies who wear skirts all the time I think it becomes very common to wear sneakers with their skirts and dresses. That is a way in which it becomes a lifestyle choice. Wearing skirts does not slow us down or change the things we can do.

There is no reason why you can’t cook, garden, ride a bicycle, or shop for groceries in a skirt. Skirts for riding on bicycles need to be long and a bit heavy on the bottom; that will help hold them down. Also, if your bicycle seat is the correct height, your knees will be low enough that the skirt won’t “ride up.” Of course, you’ll need a “girl” bike, with the bar between your legs low. For gardening and other outdoors or messy work I use denim skirts and jumpers.

Buying

I have found that if I go into department stores, TJMaxx, Marshalls, or Debs they often have a skirt to fit my specifications. Not every time I go in there, but almost every time, if I just look for a while I will find a good long skirt. For a little while I bought an ankle-length no-slit skirt every time I found one. Now I have a good collection, and they weren’t expensive.

I try to buy skirts in only solid colors so they can be versatile and be worn over and over with different tops for variation. I buy my shirts in solid colors also.

A way to get good dresses is to look for after-prom discounts. Often prom dresses will be on sale after prom season is over. I have three such dresses and I have never spent more than $50 on a dress. These can be toned down for casual use with different methods. You can add a sweater or, on a spaghetti strap dress, I have even put a casual shirt over it. Sometimes the prom dresses are in pieces, and you can wear just the top with a casual skirt or just the skirt with a casual shirt.

Vintage clothing stores are also great. Vintage skirts can be modern but still modest. At the Garment District in Boston I once got a great purple skirt. It’s a deep plum color that’s almost black, so it is as versatile as a black skirt, but with a little extra punch.

Different Looks

A way to vary your look is to do a layered effect. This is also great if you see a short dress or skirt that you really like. I have a knee length, long sleeved dress that is mostly black and partly tan. I wear it over an ankle length black skirt, and it looks really cute!

Tank tops are cheap and easy to get in lots of bright colors, but are not very modest. The solution is to get or make a crocheted top (not see-through, obviously!) to put over the them. I have seen two girls today alone wearing crocheted lace vests over tank tops that were very lovely. I have a pattern to make a crocheted lace tunic for going over tank tops. You could make one in white, then wear it with all different colored tank tops. Closely crocheted cover-ups do not create a “peep show” for the skin beneath, but they do allow hints of the top’s color to show through.

A simple long skirt is probably the easiest piece of clothing to sew. I haven’t really learned to sew yet, but I did once sew a skirt on my mother’s machine. Now I have my own machine, and I’m excited to learn to follow patterns. For this first skirt I sewed without following a pattern.

It struck me the other day when I realized that women these days are wearing clothes that are so unattractive for them. Girls who are not “model-thin” are wearing tight tank tops and low-rider pants, exposing their middles. Inevitably, the stomach hangs over the top of the pants in a very unattractive way. Girls also often leave hair ratty or uncombed. I realized that so many women are walking around unattractive like this, and nearly all of them would look fabulous in the modest fashions. If a woman takes the care to put up her hair and wear a nice dress, she looks lovely, rather than sloppy or chubby. It is possible to find beautiful designs to flatter every figure–even the “imperfect” ones (and don’t most of us have those!).

Finding modest, lovely clothes that do not look dated is possible today, though you’ll need to do some creative searching. But the results are well worth the effort. We only get to go around once; why not do it beautifully and modestly?

© Copyright 2002-2009 by LAF/BeautifulWomanhood.org. Reprinted with permission. Original article: How to Dress Modestly in a Modern World